Devoted to Divorced Parents

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Devoted to Divorced Parents – There may not be a child who is not hurt by divorce. There are many cases that can harm a child just because of a divorce. When we were young, maybe we didn’t understand their condition.

Devoted to Divorced Parents

Islam has obliged its people to always be devoted to both parents. There are several propositions that explain this.

Among them is Surat Al-Isra verses 23-24 which means:

“And your Lord has commanded that you shall not worship except Him and you shall do good to your parents with the best. If one of them or both of them reach old age in your care, then never say to them the word “ah” and do not scold them and say to them a noble word. And lower yourself to them both with affection and say: “O my Lord, have mercy on them both, as they both taught me when I was a child.”

In Surat Lukman verses 14-15 which means:

“And We have commanded man (to do good) to his parents; his mother had conceived him in a state of increasing weakness, and weaned him in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your two parents, only to Me is your return. And when they compel you to associate Me with anything of which there is no knowledge, obey them not, and associate in the life of the world with good deeds, and follow the path of those who return to Me then only to- I am your return, so I will tell you what you have done. “

In a hadith that is authentic, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam said:

“Ridhonya Allah Subhanahu wata’ala is in the ridhonya of both parents, and the wrath of Allah Subhanahu wata’ala is in the wrath of both parents”. ( Narrated by Imam Ath ThobranI )

We all understand that we cannot repay all the kindness and hard work of our parents while taking care of us. In the word of Allah and the hadith above, there are no exceptions under what conditions a child must be devoted, even when we have different beliefs, we are still obliged to respect them.

Then how do we pay homage to parents who have separated? Isn’t the child greatly harmed by the divorce of his parents?

Brother, there are several steps we can take so that we can be devoted to our divorced parents:

Remember that all destiny is Allah

Devoted to Divorced Parents
Devoted to Divorced Parents

From Abu Abdurrahman Abdullah bin Mas’ud radiallahuanhu he said: Rasulullah Shallallahu’alaihi wasallam conveyed to us and he is a righteous and justified person:

Indeed, each of you collected his creation in his mother’s womb as a drop of semen for forty days, then turned into a drop of blood for forty days, then into a lump of flesh for forty days. Then an angel was sent to him and a spirit was blown on him and he was ordered to prescribe four things: prescribe his sustenance, his death, his deeds and his misfortune or happiness. By Allah, there is no god but Him, indeed among you there are those who do the deeds of the experts of heaven until the distance between him and heaven remains the same, but a provision has been set for him, he does the deeds of the experts of hell then he enters hell. indeed, there are some of you who do the deeds of the experts of hell until the distance between him and hell remains the same, but a provision has been set for him, he does the deeds of the experts of heaven then he enters heaven. (History of Bukhori and Muslim).

Whatever the reason we as children may not be able to understand and accept their decision to separate, but we must always try to appreciate and understand the decision, maybe all the best paths have been taken but there is no best solution they have found other than separation.

Therefore we can not 100% say that the separation that occurred between them is the worst thing or vice versa, Because it is not necessarily what we think is good, either in the eyes of God or what we think is bad, is also bad for God.

As Allah says in Surat Al Baqarah verse 216:

“It may be that you hate something when it is very good for you, and it may be that you like something when it is very bad for you. God knows while you do not know “.

Open your heart and open your heart to forgive

There may not be a child who is not hurt by divorce. There are many cases that can harm a child just because of a divorce. When we were young, maybe we didn’t understand their condition.

But when we are teenagers, our adults begin to understand little by little why the decision to separate was taken by our parents, at that moment open the door of forgiveness wide in our hearts.

Hang out with Positive People

As children we will be confused and lose orientation because there is a communication distance with parents who have separated. It is also difficult for them to direct what we should be like. Therefore, hang out with positive people, then our environment will always be positive.

Keeping in touch with the extended family of father and mother.

When parents get divorced there are those who live with their father or mother. Sometimes we hear bad news about them. It is better to close our ears, and focus on the desire to be filial.

Stay in touch with the extended family of both parties, especially during big events, such as Eid and so on.

Keep in touch even if one of them remarries.

There is great disappointment when we find out our father or mother remarried. If we have opened the door for forgiveness, this is also easier for us to accept, even though it takes time to treat disappointment. Don’t let us break the friendship.

If you can’t meet, then don’t meet. Currently, there are many things that can facilitate communication ranging from chat or sms, then we try via telephone. If possible to meet, when we are ready to meet the new family of our father or mother.

Pray for them.

There are many conditions that prevent us from meeting our separated parents. Let alone meeting to communicate is also difficult. There is one thing that can be done is to pray for them. Even when our parents die, we can still pray for them.

As the hadith of the Prophet:

“If a person dies, his deeds are cut off, except for three things, namely: almsgiving, knowledge that is used, or the prayer of a pious child” (HR. Muslim)

Brother, no matter how bad parents are, they are still our parents. We can’t choose to be born by whom but we can choose to serve them, regardless of their condition.

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