My Husband Cheating, There are many problems in this world, starting from meeting to ending parting. So that we all here can’t decide where the fault lies, because all of that has a cause and effect.
My Husband Cheating
The following is a true story that has been sent via email and we have uploaded it here according to the original story.
Share: Every time Lebaran arrives, I always feel a dilemma. At the moment of the holiday, I should forgive those who have wronged me, but especially for my husband, it is very difficult for me to forgive.
We have been married for more than 10 years and have a 9 year old son. When we were in our 8th year of marriage, my husband was caught doing VC with a woman. He didn’t realize I was behind him. I tried to get closer to know who it was, but it wasn’t very clear. But from the tone of their voices, they spoke very intimately and seductively.
I was in shock, but I endured it. My husband, who was busy talking intimately with another woman, I was nervous and very shy.
I really didn’t think that my husband, who had been so caring and very fond of me and my children, had secretly betrayed me.
Only a few days later I ventured to ask about his intimate VC with a woman. Spontaneously he denied and accused me of spying on him. Suddenly his attitude which had been sweet to me turned into a brusque one and kept blaming me. He accused me of blind jealousy and limited his range of motion.
And what’s even sadder, he immediately became cold since I reprimanded it. Talk to me just small talk. He plays more with the children at home. Always leave the office early in the morning and come home late at night.
Because I couldn’t stand his attitude, I talked to my best friend who is also my husband’s office mate (my husband and I used to work together). I said my husband was caught with a VC intimate with women, I asked: do you know who my husband’s mistress is?
At first my friend evaded, he said he didn’t want to interfere in our household matters. Moreover, he is also my husband’s best friend at the office.
But after I pressed him, he finally told me. That there is indeed a lot of gossip in the office environment, that my husband is close to a new employee in the IT department.
They often eat lunch together, go home together and some have even seen them watching a movie when they get home from work.
As if I was about to faint, I heard my friend’s explanation. So could my husband cheated on me behind my back. Meanwhile, I purposely left work so that I could focus on taking care of the children and him.
Sick, hurt, hurt, ashamed and feel worthless because of being abused in such a way by people I have trusted all this time.
While crying, I cleaned up some of my clothes and that of my child. Then I left the house and went back to my parents’ house. I WA him and said he would not go home until he proved he was no longer in touch with that woman.
He repeatedly called and WA I apologized. But I survived up to 2 weeks in the village. When he said he would pick me up, I decided to go home.
Since that incident, my husband has always assured me that he just made a mistake and will not repeat his actions. But I haven’t been able to forget his attitude when he cheated on me and haven’t been able to forgive his betrayal to me.
Eid has just passed, but I still can’t forgive my husband. My inner burden every Lebaran day, because I have not been able to forgive his mistakes.
I hereby ask for advice, what should I do to be able to forgive my husband and forget his very painful betrayal?
Thanks very much.
Andriani – Magelang
SUGGESTION: It is very understandable if you have not been able to forgive your husband who has betrayed you. Moreover, you as a wife who really believes in her husband.
The fact that the husband you really trust is cheating on you, lying to you, is very difficult for you to accept. Imagine how shocked you were when you caught your husband’s forbidden relationship with that woman.
But you also don’t allow yourself to be in constant pain. Continue to feel uncomfortable and continue to be suspicious of your husband.
However, there is an ancient saying that you might be able to apply in your domestic life: when your husband or wife is having an affair, it means he is slipping, and the wife or husband should help their partner not to fall.
So basically, one of the duties of the wife and husband is to help their partner when he is in trouble. Even though the problems your husband is facing are very painful for you.
Maybe in your heart you say: yes, if you just talk it is good: forgive, forget. But it’s not that easy for me, it’s a matter of feelings, self-esteem and trust.
That’s right, you married of course on the basis of affection, love and trust. And when all those things are destroyed by betrayal, of course it will be destroyed and difficult to restore as before.
But back to the intention of both of you when you decide to build a household, of course you want to live as long as you can. Separated only by death. And it must be realized, in the course of the household there are of course storms, waves and trials.
Well, when the test comes and the waves hit, the strength of the foundation of the household is at stake. When you find it difficult to forgive your husband and continue to be haunted by his betrayal, how will you continue your household.
Especially when your husband has apologized and promised not to do it again. It takes time for your inner wounds to heal.
However, there is something you need to change, namely the way you think. If you have felt that your husband has betrayed his promise of loyalty to you as his wife, maybe you should start changing.
That when he made a sacred vow at the wedding, he was making a promise to himself and the Creator. So, when he betrays, he is actually betraying himself and the Creator.
Likewise if you are, sorry, maybe in your husband’s position: having an affair with another man, for example. Then you are actually betraying yourself and the Creator.
With this in mind, the anger at being betrayed will gradually lessen. Because what your husband did was really stupid; because he betrayed himself and he must also be held accountable before the Creator.
And holding anger, irritation, irritation and so on is very uncomfortable. For example, when you harbor anger and disappointment in your husband, it means that you carry those feelings with you wherever you go, such as dragging toxic or toxic waste within you. As a result, it can be fatal, you are initially physically ill, eventually if not removed immediately, you will become physically ill.
Very self-defeating. Meanwhile your husband may have calmed down because he thinks you have forgiven him.
Also, don’t let yourself feel helpless. It could be because you depend one hundred percent financially on your husband.
Make yourself empowered and your partner’s voice heard, that is, if you also contribute financially to the family
And, sorry, if one day it turns out that something is wrong with your husband, which threatens your husband’s finances, you can still survive. Considering you have children who are the responsibility of your husband as well as you as a mother.
Hopefully with this advice you can be more spacious, lighter when you step and look to the future more optimistically. Be happy with your beloved husband and children.***